Family of 3

Sometimes I wonder if we will always be a family of 3. Maybe it's not in the cards for us to have another baby....I feel like I am learning the hard way to be patient or that we don't always get what we want. I always thought I was a patient person. Maybe I am being reminded that I am not in control- that there are things beyond my control that I have to accept. Maybe I won't feel another life growing inside of me, maybe I won't nurse another baby, maybe I won't see Reid be the Big Brother he wants to be, one who would be so loving and caring, one who would teach his baby brother or sister everything he knew. Maybe....maybe we could have a baby in a year- maybe we could have a baby in 10 years. It's not what I had planned. I am REALLY struggling with that. Sometimes I get mad that my life hasn't turned out the way I "planned" but then I think of all the ways my life has turned out and I know I am blessed with a great life and I am happy. I look at the wonderful, busy, exhausting and happy little boy I have and look at the man I married and I am happy- I can't stop smiling. I am happy with my family of 3.