Weight (OFF)

I have been "weighing" the idea of this post. It's kind of embarassing, but at the same time it is something I never thought I could do, something I am very proud of myself for doing, and I want to shout it out! So here goes my shouting!

As you know, I am on my way to my THIRTIES (whoohoo!- it's coming whether or not I like it so I better embrace it!) and I have vowed to myself, Rudd and Reid that I will embrace my THIRTIES feeling better, looking better, and living better.
It's no secret that I have always struggled with my weight, ALWAYS. I know I would never be the 100 pounds that my college doctor told me I needed to be (according to the BMI charts, a person who is 5'2 like myself should weigh around 100 pounds-Yea Right!)
Well, I hit ROCK BOTTOM last April. I went to the doctor because my back was hurting so BAD that I couldn't walk upright and I couldn't pick up my one year old. I paid my $20 copay and the doctor examined my back, and said "You're over weight, that's why your back hurts". I thought to myself (and fought back the urge to say this outloud) NO S@#T Sherlock!- I paid you $20 bucks to have you tell me something I already know? So I hobbled out of the doctor's office fighting back the tears of pain- physical and emotional. I spent the next week or so making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. I hated being the "fatest" person at my staff meetings, having my pants fit too tight, getting winded going up stairs, being grumpy because I hated the way I looked, the list goes on and on.
After all of the self pity, soul searching and doubt, I FINALLY decided to do something. I am almost embarassed to say this, but I joined Weight Watchers!
I don't know if I have EVER been this honest about my weight, it's something I have been SO EMBARASSED ABOUT AND ASHAMED OF.
Get ready for it, here are my starting stats:
I started out at 206 pounds (that was a year after I had Reid) and I was "squeezing" into a size l6 pant and extra large shirt.
My goal is to loose 50 pounds (that put's me in the "overweight, but not obese" box on the BMI chart), and I wanted to do it right, losing a pound a week. I heard that is the best way to lose weight and not gain it back- and believe me, I do not want to gain this back.
Let me repeat that, 50 pounds, and I wanted to do it before I turn 30. At first it seemed like such a long shot, 50 pounds is a lot and February is less than 50 weeks away,(almost) impossible, but I dove in and am giving it my best shot(still).
Here are my current stats (and let me say I have worked so hard to get here and sometimes I can't believe how far I have come) I don't mean to brag or sound conceded, but this has been a huge deal for me.
Ok, back to my current stats: I weigh 176, that means I have lost 30 pounds! I know, it took me a long time to lose 30 pounds, but I did lose the weight. I know I have a long ways to go, but losing that 30 pounds gets me through the day and on the way to losing the next 20 pounds.
I am wearing a size 14 pants, pretty dang close to a size 12 (as I type this I am wearing Calvin Klein Jeants!!!-I havent' been able to fit into CK jeans in a long time- if ever!) and am wearing a size L sweater/shirt- not sure if i'll get to a smaller shirt because of the "girls" but I won't complain!
This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I watch what I eat, check portions, gave up Coke- I do have Diet Coke once in a while, and I exercise-I get on the eliptical 3-4 times a week for 20-25 minutes. I am far from perfect, I have off days, I have had a coke here or there, even a burger once or twice, had weeks where I didn't lose any weight, but I am still hanging in there and I haven't given up! I think that is what makes me so happy, the fact that I DID it, that I hung in there, toughed it out, and changed my life for the better. I am excited to be a healthy mom for Reid, I am excited to know that I have decreased my risk for heart disease, diabetes and other health risks of being overweight. I feel good because I am doing something I never thought I could do, I am healthier than I have been in a long time, and I feel good about myself for the first time in a long time.

And let me tell you, if I ever have to go to the doctor again for severe back pain, I don't want him to be able to blame it on my being "fat". I think-no, I know, I am getting there.

As I type this, I am questioning myself about being so excited. It's kind of embarassing to tell people that I've lost 30 pounds because if you look at me it is obvious I could stand to lose a lot more. I guess it boils down to the fact that I know where I started, and I know how far I have come.

**I amworking on posting some pictures of before and now(a work in progress)- so stay tuned.