Thanks*Giving

This morning, I got up around 6:30 to the sound of my father puttering around upstairs and Reid talking to himself in his sleep. We rolled out of bed and headed upstairs for some much needed coffee. Around 8:00, I remembered that there was a Thanksgiving Mass at 8:30 that my mom and I wanted to go to with Reid. We got dressed and were there on time! It was a nice mass, Father Kech talked about "Thanks" Giving, and remined us that we need to give thanks for what we have and for what others do for us. He also reminded us not to get hung up on the negative, which is something I have been doing a lot lately.

My mom for example, I get angry that she is going through dialysis, is blind and has had a stroke and heart attack.... I hate that she can't visit for more than a weekend because she has to be home for dialysis. I was reminded today that I should be thankful that she is here and not dwell on the other stuff, and most days I am able to that, but there are other days where it weighs heavily on my mind.

Tuesday I went to Legacy Good Samaratin Hospital with my parents to meet with a team for the Organ Transplant Team and I took the first step in seeing if I am a match for a kidney for my mom who is in renal failure. I have been struggling with the decision to be a live donor or not, to give a kidney to my mom without worrying about the future or the what if's. I worry that diabetes is hereditary, and what if down the road I get diabetes and my only kidney shuts down, then what? What if Reid get's diabetes and he needs a Kideny? How do you choose between your mom and your child? Why do I have to choose??? Is it really a choice?

At the meeting, I learned some very interesting information. A live donation (an organ from a living person as opposed to a deceased person) is better for a few reasons:
1) the kidney last twice as long
2) my parents could schedule the transplant and not wait around for a phone call saying they have found a donor
3) the donor (if they are living) usually lives longer than people who don't donate (because they have been examined top to bottom and bottom to top- and have been deamed "healthy")
4)if my mom receives a kidney from a live donor, then it lets a kidney from a deceased donor go to someone who does not have anyone to donate.
5) My mom could have a kidney transplant in less than a year!!!

I also learned that if I am a match and I donate a kidney and need a kidney in the future, I would move to the top of the transplant list because I was a donor. I also learned that a freak accident that injured my one kidney could be fatal...again with the "what if's". The recovery time for kidney donation is 6-8 weeks (or longer) because it is a MAJOR abdominal surgery. How will this affect the possibility of getting pregnant again? Who will take care of Reid while I am recovering and Rudd is at work?

The team also mentioned a paired donation, which would allow me to donate a kidney to someone if I am not a match for my mom, and then someone would donate a kidney to my mom. More food for thought on that topic!!!

The next step for my mom is to meet with more doctors in a month. They will go over her medical records and identify her blood type to find a match. If her and i are match, I'll under go more tests to see how good of a match I really am.

The next step for me (and my family- because I understand that this decision will impact Rudd and Reid too) is to do some major soul searching, have lengthy discussions with Rudd and find out if I am a match for my mom...

Thankfull, MOST of the transplant will be paid for through my parent's insurance, including the donor's medical bills- everything except the donors time off of work. That was a huge relief! Knowing my parents would not be stuck with thousands of dollars of medical bills! There will be lots of post transplant medications my mom will have to be on for the rest of her life that can be pretty expensive though.

But today, I am trying not to worry about the what if's or the struggles my family has been through. Today I am Thankful that Reid get's to spend another ThanksGiving with his Grammie and Papa, I am thankful that I get to spend another ThanksGiving with my parents, Rudd and Reid. I am even thankful for my father looking over my shoulder as I salt and pepper the turkey, stuff the turkey, and baste the turkey. I am Thankful that Chelsea (Reid's cousing) came to spend ThanksGiving with us! I have a lot to be thankful for!

Happy Thanks Giving!

Weight (OFF)

I have been "weighing" the idea of this post. It's kind of embarassing, but at the same time it is something I never thought I could do, something I am very proud of myself for doing, and I want to shout it out! So here goes my shouting!

As you know, I am on my way to my THIRTIES (whoohoo!- it's coming whether or not I like it so I better embrace it!) and I have vowed to myself, Rudd and Reid that I will embrace my THIRTIES feeling better, looking better, and living better.
It's no secret that I have always struggled with my weight, ALWAYS. I know I would never be the 100 pounds that my college doctor told me I needed to be (according to the BMI charts, a person who is 5'2 like myself should weigh around 100 pounds-Yea Right!)
Well, I hit ROCK BOTTOM last April. I went to the doctor because my back was hurting so BAD that I couldn't walk upright and I couldn't pick up my one year old. I paid my $20 copay and the doctor examined my back, and said "You're over weight, that's why your back hurts". I thought to myself (and fought back the urge to say this outloud) NO S@#T Sherlock!- I paid you $20 bucks to have you tell me something I already know? So I hobbled out of the doctor's office fighting back the tears of pain- physical and emotional. I spent the next week or so making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. I hated being the "fatest" person at my staff meetings, having my pants fit too tight, getting winded going up stairs, being grumpy because I hated the way I looked, the list goes on and on.
After all of the self pity, soul searching and doubt, I FINALLY decided to do something. I am almost embarassed to say this, but I joined Weight Watchers!
I don't know if I have EVER been this honest about my weight, it's something I have been SO EMBARASSED ABOUT AND ASHAMED OF.
Get ready for it, here are my starting stats:
I started out at 206 pounds (that was a year after I had Reid) and I was "squeezing" into a size l6 pant and extra large shirt.
My goal is to loose 50 pounds (that put's me in the "overweight, but not obese" box on the BMI chart), and I wanted to do it right, losing a pound a week. I heard that is the best way to lose weight and not gain it back- and believe me, I do not want to gain this back.
Let me repeat that, 50 pounds, and I wanted to do it before I turn 30. At first it seemed like such a long shot, 50 pounds is a lot and February is less than 50 weeks away,(almost) impossible, but I dove in and am giving it my best shot(still).
Here are my current stats (and let me say I have worked so hard to get here and sometimes I can't believe how far I have come) I don't mean to brag or sound conceded, but this has been a huge deal for me.
Ok, back to my current stats: I weigh 176, that means I have lost 30 pounds! I know, it took me a long time to lose 30 pounds, but I did lose the weight. I know I have a long ways to go, but losing that 30 pounds gets me through the day and on the way to losing the next 20 pounds.
I am wearing a size 14 pants, pretty dang close to a size 12 (as I type this I am wearing Calvin Klein Jeants!!!-I havent' been able to fit into CK jeans in a long time- if ever!) and am wearing a size L sweater/shirt- not sure if i'll get to a smaller shirt because of the "girls" but I won't complain!
This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I watch what I eat, check portions, gave up Coke- I do have Diet Coke once in a while, and I exercise-I get on the eliptical 3-4 times a week for 20-25 minutes. I am far from perfect, I have off days, I have had a coke here or there, even a burger once or twice, had weeks where I didn't lose any weight, but I am still hanging in there and I haven't given up! I think that is what makes me so happy, the fact that I DID it, that I hung in there, toughed it out, and changed my life for the better. I am excited to be a healthy mom for Reid, I am excited to know that I have decreased my risk for heart disease, diabetes and other health risks of being overweight. I feel good because I am doing something I never thought I could do, I am healthier than I have been in a long time, and I feel good about myself for the first time in a long time.

And let me tell you, if I ever have to go to the doctor again for severe back pain, I don't want him to be able to blame it on my being "fat". I think-no, I know, I am getting there.

As I type this, I am questioning myself about being so excited. It's kind of embarassing to tell people that I've lost 30 pounds because if you look at me it is obvious I could stand to lose a lot more. I guess it boils down to the fact that I know where I started, and I know how far I have come.

**I amworking on posting some pictures of before and now(a work in progress)- so stay tuned.

Lately

I can't believe it has been so long since my last post. The start of the school year is so hectic for me, especially since I am teaching third grade and working on my national boards! I LOVE THIRD GRADE. I am still trying to get my classroom organized. I have bought so many books for our classroom library and am currently getting the books organized into groups. Thankfully a parent has offered to help!

I just got back from a quick weekend trip to Portland where Reid and I met up with my parents. It was a lot of fun, my mom and I shopped and shopped, and Reid shopped to! My dad bought him the cutest Harley Davidson Sweat Suit, I'll try to post pics soon.

Have I mentioned the bathroom remodel is COMPLETELY 100% finished- minus a much needed towel rack! It is so nice to have a working bathroom downstairs. Reid's room is back to normal, new closet, floors, doors and a good cleaning from TOP to BOTTOM! YAY- I can't seem to find the pictures right now, but they will be posted soon.

Here are some pictures of other things we have been up to!

At the pumpking patch with great friend's of ours! Here is a pic of Sonya, Reid and I.
Reid with my cousin Joe, who is serving in the ARMY! We love him and pray for him everyday. We were lucky enough to spend a day with him this summer.
Reid enjoying a wild and crazy Winters' get-together!

We celebrated Reid's Baptismal Day, August 23, 2009. Our Priest, Father Kech reminded us that we should celebrate this day because it is just as special as the day Reid was born!

Summer Time

Reid in the pool at Grammies in Umatilla. It was pretty hot there!

a picture of our bathroom, we are getting there!

Reid and mommy on the fourth of july, he loved the fireworks!

I was hoping for a nice relaxing summer at home. It started out great with a visit from Lisa and JD, then a trip to Umatilla for the 4th of July. Then reality struck! I found a leak in Reid's closet from our bathroom. YIKES. Now we are spending the last half of your summer remodeling the bathroom. It is down to studs and cement floor. We have the new tub/shower installed along with a floor to ceiling cabinet, and Rudd and his friend are sheetrocking. Next we'll be painting and tiling the floor, then we can put in the toilet and sink and start using the bathroom again. YES!

Here are some pictures from our fun summer.

A Nice Visit with Friends

We were so excited to have our great friends Lisa and JD visit us in Raymond. Reid had so much fun playing with their sons Ryan and Gage. Here are some pictures of our time together...we went to the beach, the rainforest, shopping and Mt. St. Helens. It was a blast. We don't get together nearly as much as I would like, so the time we get to spend together is even more precious!

two words

PIRATES' BOOTY!

my girls

As long as I have been blogging, I can't remember if I have EVER blogged about "my girls", Rizzi (the fawn one) and Berni(the black one)- my wonderful, beautfil, not so great smelling PUGS. Rizzi is my 'baby'. She was born on December 22, 2002, while Rudd and I were attending a CHER concert in Boise Idaho. Berni was born 4 years later. Rizzi is Berni's mom. Both of them are named after New York Yankee Baseball Players.

Rizzi is a spoiled brat. She is very good at getting what she wants. She is so good with Reid, we are surpised she hasn't nipped at him EVER. Rizzi is allergic to chicken, she breaks out in hives if she eats food with chicken in it. A week before Reid was born, she had to have a $500 operation to remove cancer in her breast. and our friend Lindsey took care of Rizzi while we were in the hospital. Oh, and I almost forgot, she ALWAYS gets UTI's because she won't go potty in the rain...hello, we live in Raymond, we get a whopping 90 inches of rain a year...when will she learn that it's always raining here...I guess pugs really aren't that bright.

Berni is so neurotic, it's not even funny. For the longest time, she had to have a "binkie" aka stuffed animal before she would calm down and go to bed. When you go to pet her, she cowers down like we are going to hit her, but we NEVER have and NEVER will. Berni has inhereited her mothers's allergies, and then some. She is allergic to trees, weeds, dustmites, kelp, soy, wheat, chicken, lamb, venison, oh, and grass. How do I know this you might ask, well...the wonderful vet in Raymond convinced us that if we do this $400 allergy test we would know what she was allergic to so we could control her "skin" issues. She still has skin issues. We have tried Salmon and Yogurt dog food, duck and sweet potato, potato and salmon, and now vegetarian. Nothing seems to be working. Berni, for some reason, does not care for Reid too much. I think it's because he is always getting her bone and teasing her with it.

Here are just a few pictures of my four legged babies!!!

memorial day weekend

I know I am about 2 weeks late in posting this...what can i say, this time of year is busy. :o

My parents came to visit us and we had a jam packed weekend. We went crabbing in Westport and Tokeland, ate at a famous Ranchhouse Bar-B-Q, and went shopping in Olympia. Grammie Winters picked up some blue saltwater sandals for Reid, it brought back fun memories for her because Andrew and I spent many a summers running around in Saltwater sandals.

Just one of the many sea lions swimming around the docks stealing the bait from the crab pots and rings
my Dad throwing the crab pot over the docks

Papa, Grammie and Reid at the Ranch House Bar-B-Que

Reid kissing the pig at the Ranch House Bar-B-Que

Reid trying to get daddy's big rack of ribs!!!

A family picture at the Ranch House Bar-B-Q

Reid with his new Saltwater Sandals

Rudd and I at the docks in Westport

Tears in my eye

If you know the history between my mom and myself, you will understand why these photos bring tears to my eyes.

We are very lucky, no, blessed, that my mom is here to love, snuggle and play with Reid. Every day with her is a blessing. I remember the awful night she had her heart attack. That was six years ago. The doctors told us there was a chance that she would not make it through the night. 10 days later after having stints put in her heart and being in the CCU at OHSU in Portland, she was able to come home and make a full recovery! A couple of years later, she lost most of her eye sight, and just this year, she had a stroke and we almost lost her again. She is a wonderful person and a caring mom and grandma, I couldn't imagine Reid growing up without her in his life. Now she is on dialysis three times a week, and somehow she is still smiling. Reid, Rudd and I are smiling too, and thanking God for watching over her. I thank God everyday for being able to see Reid and my mom like this...and for the time we get to spend with her.

don't even ask

Never say never!

Mother's Day #2

I was hoping to sleep in on Mother's Day...that is my favorite things to do on the weekends (I have to mention that sleeping in on the weekend is 8:00am), but on Saturday we found out that it was a clam tide that weekend! The last time we went clam digging was during Thanksgiving when I was 6 months pregnant with Reid. We heard the weather was nice and the diggin was good. So we got up at 6:30 (still sleepin in since I get up at 5am every morning!) got on our rubber boots and carharts, and headed to the beach. The weather was BEAUTIFUL, and we didn't need our hats that I packed. Reid's first trip to the beach was great. Rudd and I were so nervous about Reid being so close to the ocean, but he was a pro. He held a clam or two and even tried to fill up the holes from our clam guns. Afterwards we went to breakfast with some good friends, then went home and hung out. The day before we worked on our front yard. It has been almost two years in the making! Enjoy the pictures. Maybe next time you can go clamming with us!

Music

I finally figured out how to add music to my blog. It's about time! The first song is "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins. It's kind of sad how fast life passes us by. Sometimes I can't wait for things to happen, am anxious for the future, but then I hear this song and remember to enjoy the moment, and with Rudd and Reid I have so many moments to enjoy here and now, I don't want to miss them!

Birks

I hate QVC...they always "get" me on "easy pay". I just bought two, TWO, pairs of Birkenstocks...but come on, they are on easy pay! I wore a pair today and forgot that you have to "break" them in. I have to admit though, I am pretty glad I bought them!
I have to say that Reid likes them too. As I type, he is trying very hard to put them on his feet. If you know me, you know that I have HUGE feet for being only 5'2. (I wear a size 9 or 9 1/2). Needless to say, the shoes look like skiis on Reid!

Mother's Day

This time last year, my dear grandma Lenore passed away. Her funeral was on Mother's Day. My first Mother's Day was spent in a church and a graveyard, saying goodbye to the sweetest and most caring person I have ever known. She was the only grandparent I had for the past 25 years (my other three grandparents passed away by the time I was 4).
Although she is gone, I am surrounded by her. My house is filled with many beautfil paintings she did over the span of 25 years. Sometimes it's hard to accept she is gone. Grandmothers are so special and I feel kind of jypted to think I don't have one "here" with me. I know she is in heaven looking down on us, and that I have an angel praying for me and someone I can pray to.
So, this Mother's Day, we will be in church. We will go to Mass, pray for Grandma Lenore (like we did a year ago on Mother's day and like we do always) and spend a beautiful day together at home.

A Sunday at home

This morning, after we had our favorite breakfast, ham and cheese omlets, Reid was playing in the kitchen. I don't even have words to describe this photo, all I can say is this picture emcompasses "Reid"

Today the only place we went was to the local hardware store to buy some plants. We came home and had lunch. While Reid napped, I got my sewing machine out...I haven't used it since before I was pregnant. I hemmed 2 pairs of my jeans (jeans that I paid $8 for- and would have cost me 7 bucks each to have hemmed). I found this awesome website that gave step by step directions for hemming jeans without losing the nice "jean" hem. And, I didn 't have to cut them.

Can you tell that I hemmed them?

CHI...LOVE IT!

I bit the bullet and spent some serious moola on a CHI straightener...recommended by my good friend lisa. I am pretty impressed with it. It works a lot better than the cheap one I bought 4 years ago, which pooped out on my Tuesday morning. Thanks Lisa!

More ball fun...

This ball pit is the best 30 bucks we've spent in a long time...Reid loves it, the dog's love it, and every once in a while I have fun in it! I know I have posted pictures of Reid in it before, but I just thought these were too cute not to post!

Family Fun

The weather this week has been beautiful. We have enjoyed taking Reid for walks in his wagon and going to the park. I can't wait for more good weather. We are working hard to get our backyard in working order for our big guy- he LOVES being outside.

Here are some pictures of our great week.

This is the NY Yankees rocking chair Reid got from Grammie and Papa Winters for his birthday. Rudd and I just about had a heart attack when Reid stood straight up in the seat! Thankfully Reid listens to us when we ask him to sit.

Reid got this from our "family" in Westport for his 1st birthday. I would like to note that this is HALF of the play hut/ball pit, but Reid loves it. Believe it or not, it folds down and fits in a 12 by 18 in bag.

Happy Easter

Mass was wonderful. It felt right to be there with Rudd and Reid sitting next to me. Father Kheck was not there today, but we had a Bishop from Seattle, from the arch diocese. The homily was great. The Bishop talked about Mary Magdalen and how when she looked in the tomb, she did not see the emptiness, she looked inside the emptiness. I do not understand to the depth the Bishop was aiming for, but I kind of understand what he means about looking into the emptiness and seeing something besides nothing... Not waiting the for the emptiness to be filled, but maybe knowing that it's there, somewhere, maybe not in the exact location you are looking. People were waiting for the resurrection of Christ, not understanding that he was there, in our neighbors, loved ones and strangers.

Did I mention that for Lent, I gave up pop (all pop, not just coke-a-cola) and candy. I have to admit I was weak and had a sip and a bite here and there, but for the most part I did pretty good. Today, this is what I had waiting for me after Mass...I was more excited about the candy than the coke.

Reid's second Easter has been so much fun. Here are some pictures of his Easter basket and coloring eggs.

Here is our yummy dinner. Of course it took all day to cook, and only a few minutes to eat, but it was good. I have to mention that Reid loved my homemade rolls (I got the recipe from Ella).